I came across a quote recently that really made me smile: “It’s not easy taking my problems one at a time when they refuse to get in line.” ~Ashleigh Brilliant.
It touched a chord with me, because don’t some days just really feel like this? Life seems determined to throw everything at us all at once, and suddenly we’re juggling more than we ever thought possible.
But that quote also reminded me of how even in the middle of confusion, hurt, and doubt, a little humour can completely shift the way we see things. A wry smile, a small laugh, or even a light-hearted perspective can soften the weight of our problems. Perhaps it really is all in how we choose to express things to ourselves. It’s that old “glass half full or glass half empty” question and maybe there’s something to the saying “smile and the world smiles with you.”
I once had a conversation with a life coach who explained how important it is to pay attention to the way we speak to ourselves. The words we use, even silently, can shape how we feel, act, and grow. Many of us are shocked when we first notice how critical or harsh we can be towards ourselves. We wouldn’t dream of talking to a loved one in that way, yet we allow a constant stream of negative chatter in our own heads. And of course, that has a huge impact on our confidence, resilience, and ability to move forward.
So what can we do about it?
The first step is awareness. If you can catch yourself in the moment; that moment when you say to yourself “I can’t” or “I’ll never”; you’ve already started to shift the cycle. From there, it’s about gently reframing your inner dialogue. Instead of telling yourself “I can’t do this,” try asking “What would I need to learn in order to do this?” or “What experiences have I had before that could help me now?” That way, you move away from a wall of impossibility and towards curiosity and possibility.
It’s also important not to let your mind accept “nothing” as the answer. Every single one of us has skills, memories, and strengths that can be drawn upon, even if they feel buried deep down. Recognising them, owning them, and giving yourself credit for them is a powerful way to rebuild resilience.
Changing our self-talk doesn’t mean we ignore problems or pretend they don’t exist. It simply means we face them with a kinder, more constructive mindset. Problems might still arrive out of order, tumbling over each other in their rush to test us but with a shift in perspective, we don’t have to be crushed by them.
Every day is full of countless moments, and often it’s the smallest ones; a kind word, a tiny win, a flicker of hope, that can light the way forward. Hold on to those glimmers, however small, and build on them. Because when the going gets tough, it’s not perfection that pulls us through - it’s persistence, compassion, and the belief that we are capable of more than we ever thought possible.
What gives you hope and the start of that belief in yourself? Whatever it is, hold on to it and nurture it so that your mind can reframe those negative thoughts more easily and you find yourself growing in confidence and resilience.
#SelfTalk #Resilience #Mindset #Positivity