“Don’t expect anyone to understand your journey, especially if they have never walked your path.” – Azeem Dawah
This quote is a powerful reminder that each of us is living through an experience shaped by our own past, circumstances, values, and emotions.
No two journeys are alike, and no one else can ever fully step into your shoes. At the same time, I think this works both ways in fact and links to that old saying about not judging others without walking a mile in their shoes.
We can never fully know or understand someone else’s perspective because we are all totally individual, unique human beings. What we can do however, is keep an open mind and heart. When we slow down enough to really listen; not just to the words being spoken, but to the feelings underneath; we begin to build bridges of empathy and connection. It’s not about getting it completely right or fully comprehending another person’s journey, but about creating space for them to be heard and acknowledged.
Self-awareness plays a key role here. By paying attention to our own inner thoughts, feelings, and reactions, we become more conscious of how we respond to others. Too often, our judgments and assumptions creep in without us even realising. When we cultivate self-awareness, we give ourselves the chance to pause, reflect, and choose a kinder, more understanding response.
This idea becomes very real when we think about everyday conversations. What’s the first question we generally ask each other when meeting? “How are you?” And how often do we respond openly to that question with a fully truthful answer? For many of us, the default is “I’m fine” or “All good, thanks,” even when the reality might be very different. Why? Because we’re not always sure the person asking truly wants to know. On the flip side, how often do we ask that question expecting (or even hoping) for more than a polite answer?
If we pause and reflect, that simple exchange shows how much room there is for deeper connection. Imagine if, instead of brushing past it, we genuinely invited honesty, and were prepared to listen without judgment. Imagine if we responded to “How are you?” not just with automatic politeness, but with a moment of authenticity. Even something as small as saying, “Actually, today’s been a bit of a challenge” opens the door for more real human connection.
Understanding another’s journey isn’t about having all the answers or being able to relate through shared experiences. It’s about acknowledging that everyone is carrying something we cannot see. It’s about remembering that what seems small to us might be huge for someone else, and what we find difficult may be effortless for another.
So next time you find yourself asking, “How are you?” consider if you’re ready to listen to the real answer. And next time someone asks you, consider whether you can share just a little more of your truth. Because in doing so, we not only honour our own journey, but we also make it easier for others to walk theirs. Over time, that's what helps it become easier for people to be real with us, and for us to be real with them.
Understanding another’s journey isn’t about fully grasping their pain or joy, it’s about creating a space where they feel seen. It’s about recognising that even if we can’t walk their path, we can walk alongside them for a while.
So the next time you ask, “How are you?” pause for a second. Ask yourself: do I really want to know? And the next time someone asks you, consider being a little braver in your reply. Because every honest answer, every moment of listening, is another step toward building the kind of world where empathy comes before judgment and that's a world I know I would really like to inhabit :)